Granted, I’m definitely not one to get out n’ about the way I used to (to over use a term yet one more time) “back in the day”, but when I do it’s usually a very single minded and selfish favor that I will still occasionally allow myself. Either because of the music itself, who the band is etc. or because of whom I will probably run into at the show but more commonly it’s usually a combination of the two.

Things being what they are, times are still somewhat tough for a lot of people in regards to the economy, and although I’ve been employed for 11 years now by the biggest oil company in the known world, who could easily buy and sell this planet and everything and everyone on it a hundred times over (I’ll stop there…), I unfortunately don’t get what I see as a fair cut of their yearly earnings, nor do I have a special gas card that gets me free gas, which I’m certain is just an oversight on somebody’s part nonetheless, when I learn of a show that is coming up and my knee-jerk reaction is to go to it, I have to stop and weigh out several factors, most of which involve the true cost of going to a show regardless if it’s a big national headliner or a kickass local music show out here in Stinktown or anywhere else in the Houston Metro area.

Fifty percent of that cost is usually attributed to the car related items (i.e. gas and parking), whereas the other fifty percent is related directly to the event itself (i.e. the ticket price or cover charge/parking/drinks/food/hell raising/bail money….). Suffice it to say, it can all get very costly at times, so at some point in the decision making process the adult in me is forced to ultimately decide one way or the other. Unless, of course, the child in me wakes up from his nappy and starts making his opinions known or otherwise, swinging his dick around and reminding me of just how big it really is and that it needs live Rock-n-Roll to sustain itself as well as all of its so called “lady friends” 😉

Case in point — the Lone Star Metal Magazine endorsed Birthday Party for two friends of mine Laura “Metal Mama” Steves and Jennifer Allen held at BFE on Saturday February 11th with performances by Wellborn Road, Echo Temple, Broken Teeth and Unchained – The Van Halen Tribute. I’ve known Metal Mama and her hubby for over ten years now and they’ve been friends of mine since day #1. Jennifer I just met on Saturday but I’m tellin’ ya right now, as far as I’m concerned she’s been my friend for over ten years as well or at a minimum, I’d sure like her to be. She makes 40 look damn good, that’s all I’m sayin’.

Metal Mama was nice enough to run some interference for me this year and test the waters by turning 50 years old ten months before I’m forced to, and I really have to say that I hope I wear that number as well as she does because my girl looks as great now as she ever has. Yeah, to those who don’t know her she’s a MILF to be sure but being that she’s formerly a soccer Mom, legally that makes her a SMILF so let’s all try and use the correct nomenclature here.

Knowing Laura the way I do, if she’s going to celebrate a milestone like turning 50 at a beerjoint then that beerjoint will have live music going and when it’s got live music going on then whatever band is playing had better play long, they better play hard and they damn well better play with some sack. Thus, the show that I’m supposed to be talking about already.

We got there and actually caught all four bands and as expected, we shut the bitch down because that’s what we do, it’s how ODC rolls and because that’s why a beerjoint opens up each day in the first place as I see it. My partner-in-crime and I spent the bulk of Wellborn Road‘s set mingling, getting caught up with people, Man-hugging/Lady-fondling, beer/shot drinking with more old friends than we could even count…. ok, it was exactly 14 old friends and 2 new ones but I don’t know the two new ones’ names yet. They were both working behind the bar, they both were making some pretty big tips and they both were inside the shirt of the blonde in charge of serving us ;-).

We’re looking forward to possibly meeting them again in the very near future or at least trying to see more of them though I can’t really speak 100% for my partner-in-crime. She might have other ideas…

Wellborn Road finally got my attention at the end of their set when they lit into their rendition of “Cowboys from Hell” and they weren’t just

 taking half a stab at it either — they played it with purpose so I gave it the respect and the attention that it was calling for by looking my friend Skot (ODC/SPH) in the eye and saying “Here’s to Dimebag” as we raised our whiskey glasses in an upwardly fashion.

Next up, Echo Temple, and this is when I stopped talking so much and found myself moving my head back and forth a bit watching them two new friends of mine working behind the bar. Echo Temple features the

vocal stylings of a true Houston area Metal Legend — long time Z-lot-Z/Mindcrime front man Tom Colandra. Also in the lineup I noticed former Z-lot-Z/Mindcrime bassist and keyboardist Shane Dubose and Adam Rawlings. I knew at this point we were in good hands, and my partner and I settled into our spots at the bar. We were comforted and welcomed back home by a familiar musical chord of good friends and good music…and booze but at this point, it was SO on.

Power/Prog Metal done very well…go buy or download their shit…go see them play their shit somewhere…talk about their shit to anyone who cares to listen to ya. They’re awesome and we loved them so GO DO IT already, jeeeez!!

Broken Teeth fucking killed but nothing’s strange about that and nothing’s changed a bit because I can still only listen to them for about 15 or 20 minutes before I have to excuse myself to go rub one off somewhere. Its total Cock-Rock at it’s finest and I’ve never seen a bad show from Jason McMaster and Company…ever and that’s exactly the way it’s always hit me too.

It’s the very nature of a true Metalman to pose in front of a bathroom mirror holding a Wilson T3000 tennis racket like it was a custom Gibson/Les Paul and air guitar the entire Ted Nugent “Double Live Gonzo” album front to back, and you know I’m speaking the truth here so don’t deny it.

So as I’m standing there in front of the stage as Broken Teeth begin playing my favorite love song “Stick it in“, my mind begins to drift back to those heady Wilson T3000 days and before I know it I’m standing there in a crowd of drunken music fans, in front of God, in front of the band on stage and unfortunately for me, in front of the clubs video surveillance cameras when I forget where I’m at briefly and begin posturing like I’m the guitar player sharing the stage with Jason McMaster and just before I orgasm, some asshole punches me in the head out of nowhere and accuses me of dry humping his girlfriend’s leg which I am SO NOT GUILTY OF….yet!

But I digress; some people just can’t take a joke or at least a poorly timed dry hump.

By this time, I started getting the feeling that I might be drunk already and it might be approaching closing time (Thank God). I might’ve lost three games of pool in a row to the publisher of this magazine’s wife and I might’ve got into it briefly with the bar maiden when the tab she presented me with was written up so badly and with such poor penmanship that I couldn’t even make it out correctly. It appeared to be a $516.00 bar tab which I was more than prepared to walk.

 As it turned out, it was only a $56.00 bar tab which I ended up being far less scared and annoyed about. I was, however, drunk and my ear-hole was orally satisfied.  I was very much happy. I saw and drank with good friends that I just don’t see every day and certainly not often enough, I heard some great music that I’m supposed to be writing about now but more importantly, I managed to convince this publisher to let me write for his “zine” again…. what a sucker!! I also accidentally stole the 6 ball off the pool table but I’ll bring it back someday, I promise.